Vanessa Valou – You Gave My Rectum an Oil Massage (1979)

The vinyl your parents swore they never owned — but danced to behind closed doors.

Welcome to one of the strangest, smoothest, and most seductively surreal records to ever slip past the mainstream — the long-lost 1979 cult classic by French-Brazilian lounge sorceress Vanessa Valou.

Released in the dying glow of the disco decade, You Gave My Rectum an Oil Massage was never meant for daytime radio. This was midnight music — slow-burning, velvet-draped, drenched in pheromones and poetry. Valou’s voice glides like silk over grooves that throb with sensuality, psychedelic textures, and a bizarre sense of dream-logic.

Imagine Barry White whispering to your subconscious while Salvador Dalí paints your living room with candlelight.

The lyrics? Equal parts erotic confession and surrealist theater. The arrangements? Think wah-wah guitars, satin synths, and moans layered like a sonic sauna. It’s soul, it’s funk, it’s art-pop drenched in body oil and absurdist glamour.

Initially banned by three conservative radio stations for “inappropriate intimacy” (yes, that was the actual reason), the album quickly became a whispered treasure in underground clubs across Paris, São Paulo, and Berlin. A favorite of queer dance floors, experimental DJs, and lovers of the weird and beautiful.

But like all cult classics, it vanished — slipping through cracks in the vinyl age until crate-diggers and sound archaeologists recently brought it back from obscurity.

 Now, over 40 years later, You Gave My Rectum an Oil Massage is being embraced by a generation raised on streaming algorithms, only to be stunned by something truly unpredictable.

Warning: Listening may cause mild hypnosis, inappropriate flashbacks, or the urge to redecorate your apartment in crushed velvet and mirrored glass.

Are you brave enough to press play?
Or will you just… stare at the cover and wonder what the hell your parents wer